Is your dog disappointing you?

You know how it feels don't you when someone or something changes the game in terms of your relationship. They might say something, or behave in a way that after a while, hits you - they're not who you thought they were. It takes some adjustment doesn't it. And many of us will think hard about whether we can maintain that friendship or partnership.

So what if suddenly your dog changes the game with new behaviours that are difficult to deal with, altering your expectations and causing that level of disappointment that feels new for you.

I've witnessed this with some recent clients - often those who are experiencing new issues. Maybe aggressive behaviours or behaviours that seem to turn towards you or family members. Interestingly I've also seen cases where family members opinions about this differ. Some believe new behaviours are okay, others cannot tolerate it. That's a recipe for real aggravation at home.

So what can we do when we experience a scenario like this? There's several things to note so let's go through all of them below:

• It won't matter whether family members differ. If the behaviour is causing concern, then it's the right thing to do to explore it, before it breeds resentment in the home.

• Resentment towards undesirable behaviours only worsens the issue because you're increasing the level of tension in the home environment. This is seen by your dog, who won't respond well. Behaviour can worsen.

• Undesirable behaviours do not tend to resolve without any alteration in your approach. So we can reliably say, don't ignore it.

  
  

Here's some pointers:

• Do not panic. There are a million fixable reasons why your dog's behaviour may take a downturn. Almost all of them are fixable.

• Do not feel shame. You've done nothing wrong intentionally. Once you realise the cause, you'll really feel the weight lift off.

• Don't use google to diagnose the issue or put a behaviour plan together. Many websites advise using principles which are now outdated and will make things worse.

• As painful as it may be, you need a baheviourist to at least diagnose the issue for you. Having an accurate diagnosis gives you a lot more power in overcoming and improving the situation.

• Educate yourselves in the principles of basic dog behaviour - covering topics like 'trigger stacking', 'flight, fight or freeze' behaviours and 'warning behaviours'.

• While you put the above into practice, keep yourselves as safe as possible. Identify the pockets of risk. It might be that the dog bites when you attach the lead, or move the food bowl. We can manage this practically to remove the risk moment or largely minimise it, until we can gain control of everything. This may mean leaving a harness on that's easier to reach, or even limiting walks (whilst enriching in other ways - the last thing we need to do is add the frustration of reduced walks without filling the gap), or feeding a dog in another room, out of the way.

• Manage the build up of stress you feel using breathing techniques every day - yes you, and yes, every day. You smell different when you are stressed because you release cortisol - a stress chemical which you dog can smell. This creates a tension in your dog that won't help. Breathing exercises actually alter the production of cortisol and adrenaline in your own body. Every dog responds to this well.

  
  
  
  

I hope that's been helpful. Don't forget you can reach me on email, text or phone if you're struggling with any of the above ):

07385 252000

thedogpsychologstuk@gmail.com